Would you rather be a big fish in a small pond? Or would you rather be a small fish in a big pond?

Truth be told, I’m terrified of hard work. I often do what’s easiest to stay away from hard work because hard work usually meant more work. And evidently, many think that I should be doing quite the opposite. (Like, duh!) In fact, some one once told me that I have very little vices; it’s just that I’m lazy and that probably kills everything.

The thing is, I can’t agree more; the superficial opportunities in life are usually attacked by hordes of people seeking what’s easy but the much tougher challenges will usually see a lot less competition and a lot more opportunity. But! Instead of working hard, I think I’d still prefer to work smart. =P

Oh, gosh... My head is spinning, filled with all sorts of thoughts. I’m glad I got accepted. I know I have to work super hard now that I’m in the tennis team so that I won’t be kicked out but heck, I have so many people to thank right now and now is not the right time to be worrying. Everyone’s so glad for me and I’m so glad for myself! I’ve passed my first hurdle and gah! I’m just so happy! Raffles...

I can’t believe I’m going to be schooling in Raffles! The thought still blows my mind away. If my trials results are on par with the school’s requirements, then nothings going to stop me now. Muahahahahahaha... LoL.

But seriously, *Prepares for Oscar Speech* I want to thank MY MUM for the ongoing loyal support and encouragement, as well as the funding of my tennis gear, trip to Singapore and the likes; Kai Ma, Kai Ye and Co. for more support; Adrian kor and Jo Neil for the tennis sessions; Auntie Elsie and Uncle Chee Pheng for providing lodging and lotsa yummy food in Singpore during the trials; Auntie Sok Kiang for contributing her knowledge in Singapore education; Miss Tan and Coach Weber @ RJC for their consideration, time and attention; Uncle Alan and Jo Lyn for the beautiful (ground) strokes you have rooted into me; Adrian kor once more the the bea-u-ti-ful-est serves you have cultured into me; Jia Qi and Co. @ IJC for the encouragement and, last but not least, eveeeeerybody else in this pretty little world. Come to think about it, news sure does travel fast; I’m still in Singapore with Mum and Mac and I’m already receiving text messages from back home about my admission into RJC. Thanks y’all! XD

Okay. Coming back down to earth and feeling my butt touching the bed once more – studying in Raffles would definitely mean lotsa hard work; no more slacking, no more unfinished homework, no more ditching classes, no more sleeping in classes. Gasp! No more sleeping in classes? That’s sad... School will no longer be a socialising arena for me. Come to think about it, studying in Raffles would mean no longer being the big fish in my small pond; studying in Raffles would mean being the small and slightly insignificant fish in the gargantuan and prodigious pond.

Gosh, this is Form 2 all over again. It (obviously) may not be common knowledge (unless I was Keira Knightley) but I was supposed to study in Singapore during/since my lower secondary years. But I was engulfed by inferiority and that scared me away. The realisation of the possibilities of being consumed by the lack of confidence was overwhelming in a not-so-good sense and a little part of me told me that I’d be eaten up if I kept the low self-esteem, which is usually present before (my imaginary) upper echelons I have to acclimatize to. In addition to that, I’m going to miss little Melaka where you know practically every single person you see. I’m going to miss Fridays at Mahkota Parade with my gals and saying hi with every turn of the corner. Yeah, perhaps the biggest test is the bitter truth, knowing that by studying in Singapore meant no more room for a laid back life. So that probably got me panicked and finally deciding against it. It was all emotional.

No doubt, Singapore is good for holidays, good for shopping, good for steak! [;] but definitely not to study, not to stay. Unless of course, you are positive of your abilities; which just a moment ago, I decided that I am going to take that step; I am going to face that change; I am going to be that brave insignificant little fish in that big (at my standings) pond; and perhaps one day, I’ll even be the influential big fish of the ocean.