200.

I am only a small time blogger with an average of 50 views a day. But since the publishing of the previous post, 18 hours ago, it tripled.

So... tell me again - how is all this significant?

Well, if my math serves me right, given a complete day (or another 6 hours), I dare say it's going to hit an easy 200.

Ok. This is annoying. I'm beating around the bush. Where am I going with all this?

Assuming I do hit 200 today, it'll probably be the only 200 I'll ever reach in my years of blogging.

Sad, eh? No... not really.

These 200 people came for one reason, and one reason only. Even though I know it's not because of the fine oeuvre (as it is so distinctively absent), I'm still proud to say it. I'm proud to say it because these 200 people came for our beloved and dearly missed - Ms. Low. And I know that because I looked up my traffic feed and they were mostly redirected from http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=low+wai+lin+rgs.

A simple "200" says a lot about Ms. Low... It tells us how much she was thought of and it tells us how many lives she has touched.

Y'know... She taught us how to love. And even after life, she still succeeds in doing what she does best; Ever after life, she still manages to bring us girls closer than before. I can't explain how it works, but it just does. She reminds me of Meryl Streep in the scene "Slipping Through My Fingers" from Mamma Mia! She was always so motherly...

Come to think about it, I can't seem to call to mind a single negative trait about her. Perhaps it was because I didn't know her as well as I did, or perhaps it was because negative qualities were hard to come by for someone like her.

Unless, of course, smiling too often or habitually making our day is a crime.

Sigh... What frustrates me the most is that I don't have anything left of her but memories in my mind, which may fade in time, whether I like it or not.

I wasn't there when the Moor girls of 2009 took their year photo (with her in it) and I never ever took the initiative to get a photo taken with her. The messages we used to exchange? They're all gone now... They were gone when I had to restore my iPhone, just a month ago. And you know the blue forms with the smilies I was telling you about? I used to pin it up on my wall. But during the holidays when I was away from boarding, it fell. And when I came back, I just threw it away...

I threw away pieces of her, because I thought there'd be more to come.

Sigh... Roll call's in 40 minutes. I can't believe it's already been a week since I last saw her... It feels like forever. I wish she could hear the screaming in my heart because it's her I'm desperately calling out for...

Gah! I feel so selfish but it all feels so unreal! It all feels so incomprehensible...

How could it have happened so fast? What is the meaning of all this?

"We all die. The goal is not to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."

- Chuck Palahniuk

I suppose Ms. Low's already done that; I suppose her life's objectives have already been met; I suppose that is why they say that the good die young.

Why? Because they've already done enough good to last a lifetime, if not more. So, it was simply just time...

I suppose the only thing we can do now is to be the person you know she would have wanted you to be.

That way, I suppose, you'll find her in you, where ever you go.

Ever young, ever gracious, ever elegant; Ms. Low Wai-Lin.

(17 March 1976 - 19 January 2010)

PS. At the end of this post, 3 hours later, I'm very very very happy to say that we've hit the 200 mark. Let this go out to the one whom we dearly love. :)

PPS. I feel like something's still missing...