8 (highly possible) ways to break the internet. :D

Ever had an article or picture or even video on the World Wide Web sooooo mortifying, you wish you could just crash the Internet and end all embarrassment misery? Or perhaps deeply embedded in you breeds this deadly and life-threatening and lethal (and bimbo-ish) terrorist wannabe that desires nothing but to create the ultimate pandemonium by killing one of the very crucial means of informatics and communication? Or maybe, just maybe, you're simply just too bored and you simply just wanna have some fun.

Lord knows how; but that's a thought... O.O

In any case, there are millions of miles of terrestrial and undersea cables that connect computer networks worldwide. If it ain't clear to you, I'm telling you now - these are the weak links; these are your best shot at bringing down the Web.

So, whatever your reasons, below are some pretty efficacious methods that may very well come in handy one very fine day. :D

Bleh! Time to get down to business. :)))

Option 1: Grab a hacksaw.

Follow the lead of vandals near your preferred target-area (e.g. Santa Clara, California) and cut through underground fiber-optic wires, halting all service to the area. :)

Option 2: Take up fishing.

Nets pulling up undersea cables are the single biggest cause of Internet breakages. (Make sure you make it look like an accident! XD)

Option 3: Sabotage a few boats.

Internet providers like Verizon lease fleets equipped to locate and repair broken cables. Stop the ships and you stop the fix. Teehee~

Option 4: Break into an Internet data center.

There are thousands of centers housing computer servers in the United States alone. Take your pick and get mischievous. ^^

Option 5: Become the head of ICANN.

Once in charge of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers - the organization that coordinates the global system of IP addresses - you can redirect traffic at will. (Have fun lowering the self-esteem of bloggers you hate! :D)

Option 6: Train sharks.

The stealthy sea creatures have been known to gnaw through a few cables. *Evil Grin*

Option 7: Pray for an underwater earthquake.

Preferably, a repeat of the quake that took down cables carrying 75 percent of Internet traffic between Europe and the Middles East in December 2008. (Oh... Do also pray that no tsunami occurs from that underwater earthquake of yours. ><)

Option 8: Wait 28 years.

On 19 January 2038, the internal clock for Unix, the operating system for many servers, will overflow, Y2K style. :)))))

Bonus Option: Visit Wired.com. XD

So... Big meltdown or big letdown? Only dry-runs / time will tell. :)

DISCLAIMER: The author does not recommend that you actually attempt any of these super pro techniques of sabotaging the Internet because if you do so, no longer will there be anyone visiting her blog and as a result, she won't earn any money from Nuffnang anymore... Sadface. :(