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[Me, Dustin, Jason, Alvin, Boyle, random guy crashing]
This note was written by my friend, Jason, an Indon scholar. This is the second time I'm sharing a FB note from one of my friends.. and again, I (obviously) wouldn't have done so if it weren't worth reading.
So yeah.. first thing you need to know about him that he is always playing at gigs.. In fact, he always comes up with the arrangement when we're doing a performance together. He's a reaaaal talent, I tell ya. He's a mind-blowing genius on the piano, guitar, base, drums, etc. It's amazing that God makes ppl like that. And on top of his musical brilliance, his thoughts are pretty profound too! He took the words right out of my mouth and honestly, I couldn't have put it any better. So yeah... here you have it, Jason and his reflections. Enjoy! :)
A Reflection (1)Monday, August 16, 2010 at 5:22pmby Jason LimanjayaI suddenly had an urge to write about my life in the past few years after attending the briefing with a certain MOE (Minister of Education) officer this morning. Just as how I was reminded of the importance of academic excellence, I was also reminded of what it takes to be a scholar. However, what I really want to know is not only what it takes to be a scholar, what it takes to be a human.The ultimate question remains, have I become a human being and how? Or am I just a rope strained between animals and Overman, to borrow Nietzsche's words?I have known Nietzsche's ideas even before I arrived at Singapore. I was much more a child than a human back then.I came to this tiny red dot on the world map with a simple overarching idea. "You have been selected. You are among the best and the brightest and the lucky ones to be here. Do well and life cannot go any easier."Yes, academic excellence is the core of my scholarship therefore my scholarship here. However, as time passed by, with ups and downs in my grades, I discovered that I am more talented in certain areas than others. I faced a rather grim reality that there is only one choice out of two: master something or try to master everything and end up mastering nothing.I always want to look for challenges and venture to uncharted territories in life. Thus, I don't think I would settle on something in particular for now. That is when I started to get disinterested with my life here. That happened around the beginning of Secondary 4. I felt that I was nothing more than a photocopier machine who restlessly devoured 'lessons' in the classroom and notes only to be regurgitated into exam papers. There was hardly any creative fervor.It almost led me to a complete disarray. I was utterly disillusioned with the quest for knowledge in school. All those school and CCA tasks appeared to be menial if not burdening to me. How could I become someone if I kept doing what everyone else did?I sought for remedy in anime, manga, AMVs, online forums etc. At the same time I disconnected myself from the society. I started feeling like a stranger in the middle of the familiar faces around me. When you feel like an alien, that is when you are very prone and vulnerable to negative thoughts and even hatred. And my main target was the Mother Tongue Language subject. Being a hapless, naive kid, I blamed it for my melancholy and apathy towards life.My innermost passions, philosophy and music, also seemed dead. I could not develop them further because I was doing it all alone. I became oblivious to my friends and surroundings. Looking back at those memories, I really think that is when I became most autistic and selfish. And I was unaware of it. Shoot.And 2009 ended so soon. The dreadful Mother Tongue class and EOY exams were over in no time. I survived academically, but I feared I would not survive as a human if I continued that way of life.One evening, I walked alone to the rugby field and lay down there. Facing the stars so far away, I muttered a secret wish that I though would never be materialized. I laughed at it as soon after I wished for it and left the field, dismissing the possibility that it would ever come true.God, please let next year be an adventure that I will never forget.To be continued...
Thoughts? :)
Cause I'm sorta plagued by the same problems.. in life and in choosing a university course. A levels is approaching.. uni applications are open.. and the mind-boggling question remains.
Should I do something pragmatic that I can force myself to "love" and live my life as a wage-slave seduced by material possessions?
Or should I do something that I already love but may not guarantee a realistic income and pursue the non-material aspects in life that make us human?
What do YOU think?
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7 comments:
You'll have to work your ass off no matter which field you choose. So, chose a compromise between something you like and something that will earn your a decent living because when times are hard, the only thing that will keep you moving is a) the people you work with who are good and b) your love for the thing you do.
True true. :)
Say you learn to love what you do.. but you still don't have the passion you would have had if you were doing that unstable job*.. would that be a problem? Is passion really needed for success?
*Although you can prolly argue that you won't truly be happy doing something you love if you can't even put food on the table.
So there are many reasons for one to work. From a middle class family like me, the reason to get a good job is of course $$$$. Rich kids here seem to have a different story. They could major in English literature, or anything they want without worrying about $$$$. On another note, passion is needed mostly, to keep you sane. Some time later, I'm sure you'll be asking yourself many times what the hell am I doing with my life? And I think passion would give you MUCH sanity and answers to that question. Success is a different measure, really, because it depends on the field you work in, hence it can't always be measured by $$$$.
But all that said and done, I cannot undermine the importance of having some money @ financial security.
Living is difficult.
Good luck!
I just happened to pass by. May I give my five cents worth? (I hope I do.)
Actually, your question poses a very real issue that most students in Singapore grow up to struggle between - to have a (possibly mundane job but) secure rice bowl or their passion with no (financial) stability - but which they find satisfaction in.
It is sad, but true that passion or being human cannot fill our stomachs. At the end of the day, when we (in general) start our families, we need to support them. To be honest, I reckon that the only time we can actually sit down and get in touch with our human side would be when we've reached a certain level in the corporate ladder, earn enough to spend luxuriously (on ourselves and families).
And so I digressed, hahaha. Perhaps the best compromise would be one that you have at least slight interest in and brings a steady income every month. And that would be something only you can answer. Maybe not now, but you will, in time to come.
Even as you think of what degree to pursue, look one step ahead to see what is the most likely kind of job you would want to pursue upon graduation forth. I guess then, you would have learnt the foundations needed in that respective field you go into. I guess that should lighten your load on choosing degree courses.
Ultimately, it boils down to what exactly do you want.
But one thing good about Singapore degrees (NUS/NTU/SMU/uniSIM)- they're pretty much recognised in most places - and you can find jobs out there that may not be related to your degree.
To end off, go all out to mug! I guess this is the very last time you're gonna mug the life out of yourself. 2 months of mugging in exchange for 8 months of break - 400% interest - damn worth it, lah! Enjoy the process, and don't kill yourself studying.
haiyo that's why i ask you to go to US coz u don't know what you want to do =p 1) you can take a gap year before u start uni. during that year, try out different things to see what you might like to do. 2) you can always take a semester/a quarter leave and come back to school. 3) u take a broad range of classes in different fields.
"I reckon that the only time we can actually sit down and get in touch with our human side would be when we've reached a certain level in the corporate ladder, earn enough to spend luxuriously (on ourselves and families)."
So very true. My initial plan was to work really hard the first decade and a half to reap all economic benefits when I'm most efficient and then finally settling down and studying something I really liked. Perhaps I could do it the other way around.. Idk. Haha. I just have to face the reality of deciding between more money or more interest lah I suppose. I guess I was just hoping someone could decide for me.. But yeah.. it all boils down to what I want, really.
Back to US. Hahaha. At first it was cause my mum wasn't keen on the idea. But now that she seems to be more amenable, I feel like it's a bit late to go thru so much options about unis and all. Having exams as we speak so it wouldn't be very wise for me to spend so much time looking at universities cause there are just so many in the states! Haha. I'm gonna try sorting this course thing by October. If not then I'll prolly just take a gap year and then use that time to look at my other options. :)
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